Childhood Misconceptions Anthology
by Usami-Sensei
Summary: We've all experienced childhood, and as we got older we learned the lies and truths of the world. Good and bad. But for Sasuke and Naruto, having a child who is overly influenced by everything can make parenthood difficult. Telling the lies and truths can be tough - but at the cost SEX they will tell their child anything to get it in. Yaoi. (In celebration of the end of Naruto).


**Disclaimer:** Trust me. If only it did belong to me.

This is what I wanted to post yesterday but was too upset too. So in need of comfort I had to post it today. I had to fantasize about Naruto and Sasuke having children together to make myself feel better. However, I will say that I can't stay fully angry at Kishimoto because Naruto was one of the best parts of my childhood thus I put my bitter feelings aside and actually laughed while writing this. It really lifted my spirits! Just know that in this Naruto and Sasuke do not look old like in chapter 700, they look as we all normally imagined they would. The same as when they were 17 but with more matured features, of course. Because everyone knows that Kishi pulled some bullshit making them look unattractive and old. It's not even possible for Sasuke's looks to do a whole 180 like in the chapter 700 and anyone noticed he made Naruto's eyes smaller than they were? How the fuck your eyes get smaller? Either Kishimoto wanted him to seem less adorable because of everyone's homoerotic thoughts about Naruto, or he was on crack. I personally think it's the last one. How dare he tamper with the eyes.

Info on how Naruto can bear children will be written whenever I feel like it so don't ask yet.

**Warnings - **Mentions of Mpreg. Explicit Lemons (in the future.) Hot Long Haired Naruto! Sexy and Sexually frustrated Papa Sasuke! Short Stories. Smuttiness to come.

**Ages:** Naruto - 23 / Sasuke -23.

* * *

><p>Uchiha Sasuke had been home no less than an hour and his eye twitched annoyingly. For the first time all week he wasn't in the office of his company building till late yet it wasn't peaceful. He swore nothing was keeping him from going into the kitchen, grabbing a butcher knife and chopping his ears off. He'd be the suspect to his own bloody and gruesome crime scene.<p>

Where did that boy acquire such a high pitched voice?

Closing the book he was reading and setting it on a corner of the lamp table, he fluently uncrossed his legs and turned to see his _wife_ enter the living room with their three year old son by the wrist.

Having been (together) and deeply in love for seven years but only married for four, their life was what most considered serene. Sasuke could agree. Although raising their son was certainly a challenge. And that was saying something since the great Uchiha Sasuke could handle anything, no matter the difficulty.

He ogled his lover, Uzumaki Naruto (or rather Uchiha Naruto), subconsciously yearning for him. He looked incredibly arousing, as always. His long, blonde hair falling at his cheeks and tied together by a hair tie. Sasuke cherished that hair. That hair that seemed almost golden when it caught sunlight. Big, cerulean eyes fringed by golden lashes and lips a peachy color, Naruto's slender figure was in a pair of skinny jeans and a sleeveless, collared shirt.

His ass looked especially enticing, Sasuke craning his neck over his shoulder to get a rewarding glance at the tight, round bottom while Naruto yelled at their child. The swish of it was too luring, and sex hadn't exactly been easy to accomplish lately.

"Boy, would you stop it!" Naruto exasperated, pulling him along frustratingly.

His son stuck his tongue out, cringing. "But Kaasan it touched me! It's nasty!"

"So much noise. What's the problem, Naruto, Minori," Sasuke rose to his feet, slipping his hands into his pants pockets and eying his son, the boy trying to yank away from his mother.

"Kaasan let it touch me! The monster touched me!" The child surely took after his parents, possessing a combination of both his mother's and father's beautiful features. Cute face pale and his silky, layered, blonde hair swept back, also finely shaping his ears, he looked up at his father convincingly.

Sasuke quizzically arched a brow at his son.

Struggling to keep the boy still, Naruto lowly grunted and spat out, "He got scared of a _scouring pad_ while I was doing the dishes! And Minori, I told you, you're fine." He directed to his frantic child.

Minori's big, blue eyes wavered, his head doubtfully shaking back and forth. "No, no, you don't un'erstand," He whined. "It looks so scary!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, letting him go and Sasuke stepped to the boy, placing a compassionate hand on his head. "Minori, you're fine. Calm down and breathe." He said, his tone parental.

Minori did as his father told, closing his eyes and breathing out. His father pleasingly combed his fingers through his hair, telling him that it was only a clean tool and that it couldn't hurt him. "Are you sure?" The man smiled down at him, patting his head.

"Hn, I'm sure."

The little blonde gave a small nod, puffing out his cheeks. "Okay. I need to go potty." He shakingly stumbled away, holding his private parts (to keep from peeing on himself) and ran up the stairs.

Naruto halfheartedly laughed, going up to the Uchiha and wrapped his hands around his neck. "That boy is too much, honestly," He murmured beneath Sasuke's ear, his husband resting a hand on his lower back. Sasuke's palm suddenly ended up on his ass, squeezing one of the perky mounds desirably. The heated coil that grew in Naruto made him want to push his hips forward, allowing their restricted members to brush, but he stopped himself. "Babe, we can't. I need to go."

The taller man dejectedly lolled his head back, disappointment laced in the sigh that left his lips.

Fully knowing that look, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand, not wanting him to feel bad. "I know, I know," He uttered, getting on his tippy toes and lovingly kissing on his neck. The Uchiha's pants tented from just that action, Naruto's lips pleasurably searing his snow white, pale skin before they slowly retracted. "But look, maybe tonight you can bend me over your desk and pound me until your hearts content," He smoothed his fingertips over the exposed, gracefully defined collar bone. "If… you don't let him watch any cartoons. This morning he almost gave me a heart attack because he thought Totoro was real and wanted to kidnap him." He ridiculously explained, pursing his lips.

Thin brows drew together oddly. "He loves My Neighbor Totoro,"

"Tell him that, not me. Now, I need to go before Kiba and Neji get really bitchy." He gave Sasuke a kiss. A short, passionate one and their lips lightly smacked before they parted and he walked away, heading for the front door. "I mean it. No cartoons, love you!"

Standing there, childishly upset by how short that kiss was, Sasuke slumped his shoulders and figured he'd last until tonight, hopefully. He rounded the sofa, making his way onto the staircase and went up. So don't let Minori watch cartoon. That was no problem.

Or so he thought.

But, an hour into caring for his son the boy was everywhere. He let him color and that ended in the boy drawing on the walls. Sasuke frowned, turning a corner of the hallway and folded his arms across his chest, his son caught in the act. Minori innocently stared back at him, his crayon frozen on the spot he started writing on.

It was a little after that incident that Minori told him he had to potty, again.

He let go of his father's hand and arched up on his feet, grasping the knob in his small hand and pushed open the bathroom door. "I can go by myself, Tousan."

"Can you?" Sasuke mused in concern, standing outside the door.

"Nn-hm!" The little blonde nodded, closing the bathroom door.

Little did Sasuke know, he would come to regret letting him do that. Not even five minutes later, he heard the child screech in surprise and then sound of water spilling on the floor. "Minori!" Slightly alarmed, he opened the door and rushed inside.

Minori, standing by the toilet, looked away from the toilet bowl and at his father with worried hues, tears brimming in his eyes and cutely jutted out his lower lip. Glad to see his son was fine, Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, "Seriously,"

Minori guiltily twisted his body from side to side, pulling his Kitsune shirt up to his mouth and nibbled at the fabric. "…Sorry, Tousan."

After he mopped the bathroom floor and fixed the toilet (that took some time), he took Minori outside to the backyard and let him play in his castle playhouse.

Sitting in a yard chair, a slight smile pressed on his lips as he watched his son play. Minori was a duplicate of him and Naruto and that made him feel nothing but joy. He and Naruto created such a beautiful boy together as a result of their constant, craved lovemaking. And thinking about the no sex they weren't having these days, he skeptically frowned at the sight of his son running through the castle, laughing and playing, by himself.

He did want to give him a little brother or sister to play with, however, he didn't give the two of them any time to be alone.

Sasuke's cell vibrated in his pants and he reached in his jeans pocket, retrieving it. He got a text from Naruto, saying he was stopping at the supermarket before coming home. Dark eyes left the phone and glanced up in his son's direction, but Minori was gone.

"Where the hell..." He got up, looking around. Fuck. He turned away for a second and the boy took off.

"Minori!" He shouted, listening for a response. The child never answered though. Sasuke set his phone down on the yard chair and went to go find him.

In his search, he found that he wasn't by the water hose or the sandbox. He strolled to the side of the house, stumped but then spotted his son digging up plants in the garden Naruto worked so hard on. "Minori, why are you in there?" The boy looked at him, his face slightly dirty and small hands covered in soil.

Minori got up, frightened he'd be in big trouble. "I was trying to plant these again. I'm sorry, please don't tell Kaasan!"

Outraged and fed up, his vision nearly zoomed in on the plants by his son's feet. He pulled up all the tomatoes! "Oh God dammit, the tomatoes!"

He picked his son up out of the garden bed and Minori apologetically cried because his father yelled at him.

Sasuke, holding his son, seethed, staring at the garden. He was planning on eating those later too.

Once he got back in the house, he sat Minori down in front of the television in the living room and bent down to take off his dirty clothes. He needed throw them in the washer. Minori raising his arms, Sasuke pulled his shirt up over his head and took off his shorts, leaving the boy in only underwear.

Getting the remote off the coffee table, Sasuke flipped through the channels and soon it landed on a cartoon network. "Do not move, Minori, understand?"

"Okay." He nodded, looking back at his father. "Tousan can I have a snack?"

"In a minute." He replied with a another sigh.

(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Once Naruto returned home, the car loaded with groceries, Sasuke came out to help take them in. He informed Naruto that he put Minori down for a nap and that he _did not_ watch any cartoons.

The neighborhood they lived in was fairly nice and clean, warming neighbors residing in modern, Japanese houses.

Sasuke hadn't intentionally planned on this happening. He planned to greet Naruto with a loving kiss and get the bags out of the car. Nonetheless, the kiss was turning into something more. His hands clasped on narrow hips, he pushed Naruto back, making him lean onto the side of the car and his lover threw his arms around his neck, their kiss deepening. He had his leg between Naruto's, insanely devouring now flushed lips and his tongue ran along the roof of Naruto's cavern.

Naruto gasped, Sasuke dragging a long, sweet mewl out of him and he buried his fingers in black hair, his slick tongue clashing against the others. Sasuke's mouth was so damn skillful and erotic, swallowing every noise escaping him. Naruto bucked his hips into the raven, the inside of his boxer briefs becoming damp with his leaking essence. He was so fucking hard and aching to be touched.

"Oh what beautiful youth! It's nice to see you two so passionate this early evening!"

Aware of whom that voice belonged to, Sasuke groaned, somberly pulling away from Naruto and the blonde quickly turned his head, covering his mouth and blushed heavily, feeling embarrassed. Sasuke turned his head, eyes glaring at their unusually, always high-spirited neighbor, Rock Lee, standing in front of his own home door a couple of houses down wearing a green track suit.

Rock Lee merely waved at them and then trotted down the steps of his home, leaving for his routine evening jog.

Sasuke rubbed the back of his neck and glanced back at his lover, only to find his blonde frowning at him. "Hn, what?"

"I can't believe you did that," Fighting a grin, Naruto shoved his shoulder and put a hand over his eyes, still flustered. "He probably wasn't the only one that saw, ya know." He mentioned, stepping away from his husband and going around to the trunk get the bags. This neighborhood was full of weird women (that enjoyed watching them from their windows.)

"You weren't complaining about that a minute ago." Sasuke smirked, soon going over to help him and Naruto rolled his eyes as he leaned in and grabbed two shopping bags. Loving that ass more than anything, Sasuke spanked his bottom, earning a squeak out of Naruto and the blonde spun on his heels, glaring at him before storming by and making his way inside the house gate.

Sasuke shrugged.

Soon enough they finished unpacking the groceries and Naruto felt it was about time for a snack. He woke Minori from his nap, carried him downstairs and sat him at the dinner table. Sasuke joined them, pulling out a chair and took a seat.

Minori rubbed his eyes, his head swaying because he was still tired. "Kaasan, I missed you... so much." He sleepily murmured.

"I missed you too, my little baby." Naruto slid his son a side glance, the knife in his hand slicing up Watermelon. "Did you have fun today with your Otousan?" His son responded with drowsy nod of his head. "Aw, I can tell. My Baby's so sleepy," He sweetly stated, laughing a little.

"Hn. Of course we had fun. He was a piece of work but I adore that about Minori because he gets it from you." Sasuke leaned back, impassive.

The dobe sucked his teeth at the sly remark.

Right then, Minori stretched his arms out to his father, wordlessly telling him he wanted to be held. His father understood and moved to pick him up.

Sasuke carried his son back to his chair and sat down, the boy planted on his lap and leaning back on his chest comfortably. He laced his fingers through his son's soft hair, smiling slightly. "Otousan loves you very much, Minori." He affectionately whispered to him.

Minori giggled lightly. "I love you too, Tousan."

Naruto smiled as well, looking at them.

Shortly after cutting up the Watermelon, he placed three slices on each plate and set one in front of his husband and child. "Enjoy!" He chirped, sitting in the chair closet to them.

He and Sasuke began to eat their Watermelon, blind to the look on their child's face. Minori stared at his mother and father, his eyes going big and when Naruto got to a bite with a black seed in it, the boy's face started to fearfully change into pure horror.

Grinning, Naruto munched cheerfully, juice staining his lips and dripping along his chin, catching the attention of Sasuke who was lustfully gazing at him. He sheepishly averted his eyes, blush rising on his cheeks and continued to eat, ignoring the perv.

It was at that moment, a sharp shrill shocked the married couple and startlingly, they looked at Minori, who it came from.

"Minori, what's wrong? Did you hurt yourself?" Naruto frantically questioned, dropping the fruit rind on his plate and getting up. Sasuke already trying to see what was wrong, Naruto kneeled at their chair but the little blonde started crying harder. "Minori, Baby, tell Kaasan what's wrong." He saw the boy wasn't hurt anywhere so he didn't understand why he was crying.

"W-why did you get the Watda'melon!" He sobbed, his nose and face flushing red. His mother looked confused and asked him if he didn't like the Watermelon. "Nooo! I like the Watda'melon… Uuuh! But you can't eat it, you're gonna explode!" He hiccuped, coughing and wiping his eyes with his hands sadly.

Sasuke, turning the boy in his lap to look at him, seriously asked, "Minori, what do you mean?"

"Yeah. Why would we explode?" Naruto gently inquired, Minori hugging Sasuke and the man rubbed his back soothingly.

Minori adoringly kissed his father's cheek, sniffling and sputtered out, "You and Tousan are going to explode n-now! I don't want you to die!" Wet, salty, droplets slipping along his adorable, rosy cheeks, he held onto his father and patted his mother's head lovingly, as if saying goodbye to them.

Inwardly laughing, Naruto cleared his throat and said, "Minori, why would you say that? We won't explode." He consoled, wiping the tears from his son's face with his thumb.

"Y-es you are! When Tousan put on tv- Rugrats said you can!" The boy jumped off his father's lap and ran out of the kitchen, crying dramatically in the living room. "I have to stay away fr-from you guys!" He screamed, clutching the hem of his shirt, his lips trembling.

Naruto got up, throwing Sasuke a scowl and the raven emotionlessly blinked, guilty practically written in bold on his forehead. "I thought he didn't watch cartoons today. You lied?" Naruto's tone was harsh and demanding. "You did it anyway when I asked you not to?"

Sasuke exhaled stressfully, standing. "Dobe, they're cartoons. He loves cartoon."

Blue eyes narrowed, his hands went to his hips. "Well right now cartoons aren't the best for him, Sasuke. Neji told me that it's normal for a three year old to _suddenly_ get scared of everything. It means the imagination is kicking in and you just made it worse! And do you know how damn scary that episode is! That fuckin' episode had me freaked out when I was a kid! It sure as hell taught me not to swallow seeds!"

Sasuke smugly smirked, stepping closer to him. "So then mine's an exception?"

Naruto greatly burned crimson, baffled that Sasuke just said such a dirty thing in front of their son. Well, he figured Minori wouldn't understand, but still. Why was he such a pervert, even at a time like this? "Teme, why are you such asshole! All I asked is that you don't let him watch cartoons and you still did it. Then you lied. You really think we can do anything tonight?"

"Why not?" The raven snorted.

"Because guess what? He'll be up all night worried that we're going to explode. He isn't going to let this go for a while!"

Sasuke's pompous expression faltered and he critically eyed his lover. "Naruto, you're not serious. You said tonight-"

"No, I said if you don't let him watch cartoons. You think we'll be able to now?"

"That's not fair."

"Don't blame me! This your fault, you don't think I want to have sex as bad you do? I specifically asked you not to let him watch cartoons but you did it anyway, so it's all on you." He grounded out, walking around the Uchiha and toward their son. Minori inched back as he got closer and then scampered off, screaming to the top of his lungs. "Minori, everything's okay!" Naruto hopelessly shouted, chasing after him.

Sasuke sunk into the chair, dropping his face in his hands and gripped his hair. He had a raging boner all day and Naruto really just cut him off like that. He banged his fist on the table, the plates clattering at the impact and clenched his teeth.

He was sure his dick was going to _explode_ if you didn't stick it in Naruto's tight, fuckable ass anytime soon!

And all because of Minori.

The ultimate cock-blocker.

* * *

><p><strong>Usami-sensei:<strong> Surprisingly, this made me feel better. These will be little stories that I write until I get back into the writing mood. I'm still kinda off though. Hope this helped others feel better too... and maybe leave me a review?


End file.
